Professor dating a former student dating advice for bisexuals
Can Chris reciprocate (or initiate) the feelings of romantic interest and then explain to Pat that they can't date until after the semester is over, but then it's OK?
If Pat asks Chris out, either during or after the semester, can Chris accept the invitation?
It makes me seriously grumpy, not least because it makes socializing with male junior faculty really, really challenging. Not to say that these women are not smart or intelligent or do not have any aspirations, but what it seemed to me was that these male profs were grooming academic wives for themselves so that they could “have it all.” They liked their jobs, wanted to stay where they were, you know, which is fine, but I find it hard to ignore the power dynamics there, too–a) former prof in most cases; b) significant age difference–on average about a 13 year age difference.
It honestly mad[e] me lose a lot of respect for both the profs and their girlfriends.
The new policy is there just to clarify that it would not be okay.
“We’re using this opportunity to reaffirm our priorities as teachers,” said Alison Johnson, a Harvard history professor, “and to imagine what we’re seeing when we’re looking at these students, and what we’re not seeing. We are seeing students.” A small but growing number of colleges, including Yale and the University of Connecticut, now have written policies banning such relationships, Bloomberg reported.
life of a fool chimed in, “I have also seen plenty of what maude and others have commented on — faculty men marrying (recently) former students, and it creeps me out for the same power dynamic issues already mentioned.” Does this really still happen?
I assumed that this went out with the 1960s or 1970s, what with the increasing tenure standards and decreasing libertinism that have characterized faculty life over the past 30 years.
Deborah Judge wrote, My college also has the pattern of young male faculty ‘grooming’ wives for themselves by marrying former students or recent college graduates. in grad city, I noticed many male profs getting engaged to, marrying, or dating undergrads, or recently graduated undergraduate women, which kind of disgusts me.Unlike my aforementioned commenters, I haven’t seen it among my peers. In fact, a male colleague of mine once gave the creepiest and most damning criticism of professors who date their students I have ever heard: he called it a (But all the same, very apt I think.) I find nothing whatsoever attractive about undergraduate men–I couldn’t even stand most of them when I was 18-22 myself.Am I just completely (I have to confess that everyone always knows about the romantic intrigues in my circles months before I do, so maybe I’m just clueless on picking up sex vibes. Some of them haven’t yet figured out how to shower and shave on a daily basis, let alone have anything of interest to say, so the idea of a dating or intimate relationship with any of them is just repulsive.11 a.m.: Am supposed to edit/critique a client’s writing all day, but first decide to masturbate to pictures of my Grad School Ex’s head Photoshopped onto Neiman Marcus models.2 p.m.: New girlfriend of two months, a 20-year-old former student of mine who lives in another state, texts to say she liked the porn I sent her last night, and used the big vibrator I gave her, which was risky because she’s home on break, and her room is right next to her mom’s room, and there’s no lock on herdoor.